My kid tweets, all in one place. Enjoy.
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My 6 yo unexpectedly announced that she was an atheist today (not in those words), causing a neighborhood boy to run home in tears. Lovely.
June 17, 2008
yesterday, my 4 yo lay with her head in my lap-she told my leg smelled like a "zoo"-then told me I had hairs in my nose. Sweet kid, no?
August 7 2008
My kids are watching an infomercial about *mops*. They screamed when I tried to change the channel to PBS. Houston--we have a problem.
June 30, 2008
Wow. I just told my 6 yo that everything you see on tv isn't true, and she stomped her foot and said "Mom, but they tested the mop!"
June 30, 2008
OMG. My 4 yo just informed me that when I clean the floor, I miss spots, but "if we got a Shark mop, I'd get all of it."
June 30 2008
Kids playing game where evil railroad job applicant keeps leveling the RR. My suggestion of a resume and interview was unanimously rejected.
July 21, 2008
4 yo just asked to buy stuff from "Build a Bear". Told her "Soon." She asked hopefully "In 8 years?" I said "Sure!" We both left happy.
August 11 2008
Even funnier. 6 yo just came upstairs and asked why 4 yo has to wait until she's 12 yo to buy stuff. She seemed appalled at the long wait;)
August 11, 2008
Omg, My 4 yo just sang along with the Cellno & Barnes (large Upstae NY PI firm/advertiser) jingle. Nooooo! http://www.cellinoandbarnes.com/
August 21 2008
The kids are throwing dirt on the slide and then sliding down it-but they're happy, so I'm letting them. Is that bad?
August 24 2008
So I ask 4 yo if she knows where my brush is-& she gets if from under her pillow. Then ask if she knows where the remote is-guess where?
August 27 2008
This a.m.4 yo puts on make up with me then when drinking juice complains her cup is dirty."No honey-that's lipstick." Did I really say that?
August 27 2008
It seems that my kids' primary goal while I cook dinner is to severely injure the other child such that an ambulance may be required.
August 27 2008
My kids have friends over & one of them just told me they started a secret club on the bus today w/ "me & x & y" but we can't tell you!:)
September 10 2008
6 yo tells me that in video she saw at school, only the 5 vowel characters are female and they're "hard to hear". Lovely.
September 23 2008
The amount of energy my kids have is beyond comprehension. If we could harness it somehow, my household alone could solve the energy crisis
September 24 2008
Seriously considering returning the Wii--my kids are making fun of my Wii rankings in the family hierarchy.
October 20 2008
Drives me nuts when kids pretend to me a mom & kid. One of them will yell "Mom!" and I'll say "Yes?" & they look at me scornfully "Not YOU!"
November 2 2008
Overheard last night-6 yo: I'm not going to play with you! 4 yo: Please? I'll do anything. 6 yo: Ok..*long pause*..Get me a SODA! (???)
November 2 2008
Dinner was not a hit with the kdis. 6 yo: "it tasted good until the spicy and the sour ran into each other on my tongue." Ha!
November 5 2008
Yuck. Just found piece of bread crammed behind couch cushion. 4 yo sneaks bread for snack & hides it behind pillows when she sees me coming.
November 12 2008
When Consumer Reports' annual update arrived in the mail-4 yo exclaimed "My favorite book!" (She "reads" old copies all the time) Weird, no?
November 12 2008
While doing Wii Fit, it reminded me not to push myself "right off the bat", at which point my 4 yo asked "Mom, did you fall off the bed?"
November 16 2008
Convo w/ 4 yo: Me: "So, isn't our house a lot like the hermit crab's shell?" Her: "Except--it's a *house*."
November 17 2008
4 yo to 6 yo (playing pretend) "You couldn't find me anywhere, ok?" *pause* "Don't come into the family room--that's where I am." Genius?
November 22 2008
4 yo is killing me 2nite-they took a dessert break from a puppet show-& then she said, vehemently: "The show *must*go on!"
November 22 2008
Overheard yesterday: 6 yo "I'll be the poodle"-4 yo "I'll be the doggish-cattish one."
November 24 2008
4 yo this a.m. "why did the turkey cross the kitchen?" "why?" "so mommy wouldn't cook it in the oven!"
November 24 2008
Just overheard in my house: 6 yo "Did you know all the pilgrims were Jewish, I think--because they all prayed to god" Ha-a bit ethnocentric?
November 24 2008
More pretending talk -From my 4 yo: "I'm going to be a very horrible donkey that's destroying the wooorld!" ?!?!?!!!!
December 2 2008
My 4 yo, sitting at my computer: Do I look like a Mommy? Me: Is that what mommy's do, sit at the computer? 4 yo: That, and they eat, too.
December 6 2008
Life w/ kid learning to read-Me (sternly): That's enough, got it? 6 yo: Got it! G-g-g-oooot i-i-iiit. G...hmmm...o..t. I..t. Got it!
December 10 2008
My kids are arguing about pretend play and 6 yo says: I quit being a princess -and I'm NEVER coming back to this kingdom again!
December 14 2008
Just asked 4 yo what I should do for dinner. Her reply-"Sit around and do nothing?" I kind of like that plan of action;)
December 17 2008
My 6 yo's latest tactic: -"Mom now I'm better at WiiMusic than (sister)...Oops. I shouldn't be saying this, right? Oops."
January 17 2009
Just overheard: 4 yo: "(6 yo)'s being a rudie-pants!"
January 19 2009
Just overheard: my 4 yo: "Don't you love the smell of little ponies? I wonder what their butt smells like? *sniff* Ewwww." Lovely.
February 11 2009
Overheard last night: 4 yo (distraught-out of the blue)-"Mom-when I grow up I want to live with you!" --Should I be flattered or scared?
February 15 2009
Overheard: 4 yo :"We're sharing!" 6 yo: "No, because it's an odd # and you can't count an odd # by 2s!"
February 17 2009
The much-hated toy packaging is now loved-my "big" kids insist on opening their toys themselves. They've been occupied for 25 minutes now;)
February 17 2009
Overheard: 5 yo "Juice please mommy" Me: "ok, one sec" 5 yo: "You're supposed to say 'As you wish'" ?!?!? ( Who knew? ;) )
February 22 2009
Just overheard: 6 yo: I snuck candy two times this year so far Me: Really? 6 yo: Yep-wait did I really just say that? Me: yes 6 yo: Oops!
February 23 2009
My 5 yo walks around like this much of the time. If you're not expecting it, it can be a wee bit disturbing;)
March 1 2009
Just overheard- 7 yo: my candy kingdom is a handful. (?????)
March 9 2009
Love it when my kids make projects like this all on their own;)
March 14 2009
My kids keep tattling on the other for saying the "s-word"--"stupid". ha.
March 16 2009
7 yo to 5 yo: My estimate of how many times you were annoying...my entire life-like the whole time that I knew you were there. (nice. not.)
March 19 2009
Breaking update from my 5 yo!!! Something to do with the status of her bowel movements. Is this seriously my life?
March 21 2009
I curse the day my 7 yo learned to read--she's become the speed limit Nazi
March 22 2009
my 5 yo-who's not a big fan of sweets but is a total carb addict-just asked me if she could have "a piece of bread for dessert"
March 25 2009
Overheard: 5yo: mom I'll give you this brand new dollar for a bagel. Me: is that the dollar the tooth fairy gave your sister? 5yo: maybe...
April 14 2009
Overheard-my 5 yo after snorting while laughing: That was funny *and* entertaining!
April 18 2009
7 yo recently informed me that the phrase "demented peanut" was a naughty term. Demented peanut! Anyone care to enlighten me?
April 19 2009
Vacation week still-trying to get work done around kids. Other big goal today-help dog regain dignity by washing off hot pink chalk paint
April 22 2009
My kids' take on dinner: 7 yo: "I can't tell what anything is." 5 yo: "I'm not sure I want this. " Ha. Nice.
April 25 2009
My 5 yo whispered to me "Mommy-don't tell anyone, but we're making you a bracelet at school for Mother's Day." Oooookay ;)
April 29 2009
Overheard: Me to 2 yo petting my dog at playground: "Do you have a doggy?" 2 yo: "No, but I have a daddy." ;)
May 4 2009
Overheard: 5 yo: "Mom...Ask me if I'm a truck. Me: "Are you a truck?" 5 yo: "No." Oookaaaay.
May 5 2009
Overheard: 5 yo: blurp, blurp, blurp,blurp. Me: What are you doing? 5 yo: I'm going "blurp". (Stupid question, I guess;))
May 25 2009
Overheard: My 7 yo: What if everything we do is a dream? My hubby: Do I really have to check your sock drawer for illicit substances, kid?
May 25 2009
My 5 yo is currently providing me with a very long, detailed description of her friend's extensive Polly Pocket inventory-Fascinating stuff
June 1 2009
My 5 yo peed in a cup during her bath & left it on side of tub. So gross. How come no one tells you about this stuff before you have kids?
June 8 2009
PBS show kids are watching is discussing how to spell "up". The girls are in hysterics.
June 10 2009
My kids are running laps around the downstairs yelling "Star poop" (???). Thank god camp starts next Monday.
June 24 2009
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